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TEEN DATING VIOLENCE AWARENESS & PREVENTION WEEK

January 29, 2009
by Lynn Shield

What are they texting about?

OK, so your teenager is having a great time texting his or her friends throughout the day and night. What are they talking about? How could they possibly have that much to say to each other? A national survey on teens and dating abuse revealed that an alarming number of teens in dating relationships are being controlled, threatened and humiliated through cell phones and the Internet with unimaginable frequency. The research also reveals that a significant majority of parents are completely unaware of this type of dating abuse and the dangers facing their teens.

Feb. 2-6, 2009 is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week, so I was reading the statistics from a survey last year of children ages 11 to 14 by Liz Claiborne Inc., a clothing retailer that finances teenage dating research. The results are alarming. Fully one quarter of the 1,000 respondents said they had been called names, harassed or ridiculed by their romantic partner by phone call or text message, often between midnight and 5 a.m., when their parents are sleeping.  What was even more alarming was that nearly three in four said that boyfriend/girlfriend relationships usually begin at age 14 or younger. This surprised me to think of an 11 year-old in a ‘romantic relationship’. But it is happening, and it gives parents even more reason to TALK TO YOUR KIDS! Teens are spreading rumors about each other on cell phones and social networking sites like “My Space”, “Facebook”, or “Twitter” so quickly that someone can go to bed at night thinking everything is OK, and by the time they get to school the next day, everyone has seen a private text message or embarrassing photo or video.

We’ve all seen some of the recent news stories about kids sending hundreds of thousands of text messages in one month. Cell phone calls and texting at unimaginable frequency mean constant control day and night. Nearly one in four of the teens that were in a relationship said they communicated with their partner via cell phone or texting HOURLY between midnight and 5:00am. One in three said say they are text messaged 10, 20, even 30 times an hour by a partner inquiring where they are, what they're doing, or who they're with. When do these kids sleep? They must be exhausted in the morning when it is time to get ready for school. 67% of parents, whose teens were checked up on 30 times per day on their cell phone, did not even know this was happening.

Dating abuse is a pattern of controlling behavior that someone uses against a girlfriend or boyfriend. Abuse can cause injury and even death, but it doesn't have to be physical. It can include verbal and emotional abuse - constant insults, isolation from family and friends, name calling, controlling what someone wears-and it can also include sexual abuse.

This is a serious issue. If a student is being abused, harassed or stalked, their mind is racing with fear, and they cannot concentrate on the important things like school, sports, homework, and healthy relationships. It is time for all of us to make the commitment and address teen dating violence as a serious health issue. It is a problem that won't go away until everyone is aware of what they can do to prevent it. We live in a society that, by its silence, tolerates violence. Don't stand on the sidelines—stand up.

What can you do?

Teach by example. If you are a father, mother, coach, teacher, aunt or uncle, older brother or sister or mentor, you can play a crucial role in guiding the boys and girls in your life into adulthood and into positive relationships as they grow older—by teaching them about respect, showing them how to deal with conflict, and setting an example of how to build healthy relationships. By starting a conversation about relationship abuse, your actions demonstrate that this is an issue that can be discussed thoughtfully and openly.

Sign your teen up for a Healthy Relationships Program. Operation Care is offering a free co-ed Healthy Relationships Program for teens, based on the curriculum developed by Liz Claiborne, Inc.  (www.loveisrespect.org) This workshop will educate teens on how to identify all forms of relationship abuse and understand what types of actions are and are not acceptable in a healthy dating relationship. Contact Ashley at Operation Care (209) 223-2897.

Learn More: Go to Operationcare.org and click on Teen Dating Violence Awareness Week link for tons of resources.

Get Help: If you or your teen needs help, call Operation Care’s e 24-hour confidential crisis line at 223-2600 or 1-800-671-3392, or call the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline at 1-866-331-9474 or loveisrespect.org.

Operation Care is a non-profit 501(c)3 organization founded in 1980 providing domestic violence and sexual assault support services, crisis intervention and education to our community. For more information call (209) 223-2897 or www.operationcare.org.

FEB 2 - 9

TEEN DATING VIOLENCE AWARENESS & PREVENTION WEEK

Does your boyfriend or girlfriend call you names or put you down? Does he act extremely jealous when you talk to your friends? Does she blame you for losing her temper? You may be in an abusive relationship. Controlling and jealous behavior is not love. Contact Operation Care in confidence at 223-2600. 

If you are in
immediate danger,
CALL 911

Our 24 Hour Hotline offers crisis counseling, information, support and referral for callers - Suicide, Depression, Loneliness, Life Stress, Substance Abuse, Parenting Issues, Teenage Crisis, Child Abuse, Information about Local Services.

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Operation Care
(209) 223-2897
621 New York Ranch Road, Jackson CA 95642